just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
