She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
