I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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