So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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