So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
