it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
