i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
