You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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