she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
