You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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