just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
