Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
