You can't motorboat a personality
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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