Got a toothbrush?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
