Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize