I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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