Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
