I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I could fuck to npr.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
