My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
