My brain says no but my pants say off.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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