'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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