he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I believe in your delicious
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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