Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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