Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
please come you make the beer taste better
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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