have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
