: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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