I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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