you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
