I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How does one acquire holy water?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
