I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
