if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
His nipple licking is glorious
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