i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
