Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
