it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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