there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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