You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
