you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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