And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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