Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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