Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
