Just fell off a train. Bad.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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