I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
