sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i drank out of a bidet.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
