guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
