don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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