You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
