I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
