I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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