Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
