sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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