no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
