bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
